When Sh*t Hits the Fan…

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6 Lessons of Humility

 

There is an actual frame of denial when you are dangerously ill.   Especially when you’re a health fanatic and you are hit with a rare out of the ordinary ailment.

Throughout my last pregnancy I remained active I would go on bike rides and put my kids in the attached trailer and be off.  The first trimester I was very sick for 3 months and I realized a very deep dark and shameful secret… my mind wasn’t working like it should.  I was sick without getting into too much detail on that as I live beyond that vibration now.

All of my thoughts were blurred.   I lacked the clarity to do art, read, or write.   It was a once in awhile thing not like my regular everyday creative stimulation.  Then came my bike accident.   In this particular accident I injured my left leg.  With what seemed to be a large gash in my leg.

I found no issue in walking.  Weeks later though my leg decided to make a trip down injury lane.

As I went to sit down to watch my shows and relax eating my salad who would have thought at 6 months pregnant my kneecap would randomly DISLOCATE!

I had never felt so much pain and by then I had already given birth twice.  What made this worst was my previous pelvis injury came back plus my hips dislocated along side one of my ribs.  I was a freaking mess to say the least.

In this moment I was humbled.  I was taken down to my lowest point in my adult life.  This was my chance to wallow in self pity but I chose not to.

I chose to learn from what I was experiencing and I feel as though I came out as a better person.

1. Accept help
I learned that I actually didn’t know how to ask for anything.  Not help, not for things, not a thing.  I would beat around the bush as if I’m undeserving of help or possessions.  I now learned to be more deserving and open to receiving.

2. The greatest gift I can give my children is my presence.

I know this sounds absolutely ridiculous and cliché. The thing is when you’re so caught up in the go go go the process you ignore the small moments of greatness that can come from just stopping. Being there in full presence is a true gift.

3.  I am grateful for the ability to move & feel my body.

If you can look at a fork that’s falling on the floor in the kitchen and you can pick it up congratulations. This wasn’t an easy task for me. Having to use a wheelchair to grocery shop and having to keep my feet up 24/7 was the hardest and most humbling experience I’ve ever had. I was scared to be inside my own body and I was often frustrated as well because I wanted to feel something other than pain. But this experience has taught me so much. There are people that have to suffer with this all the time for their entire lives.

4. I am grateful to have the ability to care for myself.

Imagine having to be bathed by someone else.  I mean not by choice.  I’ve been to these elderly care facilities and have witnessed when people lose the ability to care for themselves and could have never imagined that happening to me.  When it happens to you there is a powerful appreciation you gain when you can.  Self-care is a form of self-love and having that ability taken away can truly lower your idea of self-worth.

5. Happiness is a choice you have in every moment.

There is an interesting thing about pain.  It subsides when you stop thinking about it.  Not to say it goes away but it gets pushed to the back of your mind.   When you focus on things that make you happy you can escape any mental turmoil.

6.  I am not always in control.

I’ve cornered my existence on being a powerful woman.  It wasn’t until what I thought was my power was taken away that I found out my true being wasn’t even being infiltrated.

When you’re on the sideline you build a drive for the game.   You build a desire to play.   It’s the same when you are out of commission during life.  I now know the desire to wake up pain-free and healthy.  To run with my children.  I am so grateful for my life thus far.   I am at a pinnacle where I know the conscious desire to live.

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